Meaningless language (and how fairy tale vocabulary can save us)

Some years ago, I was having a conversation with someone else about a character. We were trying to describe this character, and we each asked the other person what one-word description comes to mind. This is the discussion that ensued:

Me: I think that character has a certain nobility. She’s really noble.

Other Person: What do you mean by “nobility?” You mean, like empowerment?

Me: No, I think “empowerment” means something else, something different. I’m really talking about a kind of inner dignity, a grace, and a desire to try and live up to certain virtues, especially virtues that are self-sacrificial in some way on behalf of others.

Other Person: That word is kind of outdated, though, isn’t it? And stuffy? Like it sounds like “nobles” or “monarchy,” and this character isn’t a monarch or with some kind of aristocratic title. She’s relatable.

Me: Well sure, there is that definition of “nobility,” too. It can mean that in certain contexts. But in this context, it can also mean an inner state that anybody can possess, not just aristocrats. It’s a certain bearing, it’s the way this character interacts with the world, you know, she has morals and ideals and a real desire to live up to them. She tries to do the right thing.

Her: *pauses blankly back at me* So…she knows her worth?

And that was about how the conversation went. In many cases, I think we’ve lost the old words and phrases we used to describe how people can live and behave, and we’ve replaced them with other terms that obfuscate the old meaning. Worse, I suspect it’s a terrible vicious cycle — we lost words like “nobility” and “virtue” because they didn’t mean anything to us anymore, and as they withered out of use, so did the ideals themselves. We lost a more human vocabulary, and along with it a more human way of life.

For example, what is “empowerment,” and why is it different from nobility?

“Empowerment,” one of those new words, means literally “the power to do something.” It usually involves gaining the strength or confidence to do something, and in this, it is similar to the word “emboldened.”

The problem is, it’s completely value-neutral. It’s amoral. A person can be empowered to do something good or something vile. Calling a heroine “empowered” says much about her confidence, ability, strength, and even authority, but it says nothing about her character. She’s empowered, but…to what end? A tyrant is empowered to enact their tyranny. Just like a generous ruler is empowered to give what they have. So what are we really establishing about a person by calling them “empowered?”

Same with the many other meaningless terms that have infiltrated our modern vocabulary: “knowing your worth,” “speaking your truth,” “connecting,” “syncing up,” “holding hands” (when no hands are really being held), and so many more.

In contrast, let’s look at the way fairytales describe characters. And more importantly, let’s look at the way of life they embody, the lines they draw. A few examples from Grimms’ Fairy Tales:

“I want you to have this because you’ve been so diligent” and “served me faithfully.” (“Mother Holle,” Jack Zipes translation)

“She wished them a good day, and since she greeted them so politely, they asked her what she was looking for…they bestowed gifts on her.” (“The Three Little Men in the Forest,” Zipes translation)

“Now the mother thought about how she might provide her own daughter with the same great fortune. So she sewed her a splendid fur coat and told her to go into the forest and ask the little men for a gift. But the men saw that she had a wicked heart, and instead of giving her good gifts, they gave her bad ones.” (“The Three Little Men in the Forest,” Zipes translation)

“The fairies came to the feast, and at the end of the celebration they gave the child some gifts. One gave virtue; the second, beauty; and the others gave every splendid thing that one could possibly wish for in the world.” (“Briar Rose,” Zipes translation)

“A king had a daughter who was marvelously beautiful but so proud and haughty that she rejected one suitor after the other out of stubbornness and ridiculed them as well.” (“King Thrushbeard,” Zipes translation)

“However, there was a girl who had just found a four-leaf clover, and it made her so clever that she could see through any kind of deception.” (“The Beam,” Zipes translation)

These stories are full of people who exhibit real virtues: diligence, fidelity, politeness, wisdom to see through deception. And they are also full of characters with great ills: wicked hearts, pride, haughtiness, and stubbornness. These words all mean something, because they are all grounded in a sense of goodness or badness, right or wrong. They hold the yardstick somewhere objective and show us where the characters measure up in relation to it. They imply an order in which justice is real, integrity is real, and we have something to live up to.

I think reading fairy tales and imbibing the kinds of language they use can help us overcome the mechanistic, subjective language of so much of our current Upside-Down world. It’s one of the best ways of creating a life for ourselves that’s Right-Side Up.

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